Freedomain Radio

 I sent my defoo letter to my parents a few months ago,and I am just getting around to posting the letter they sent in reply.

I sent a very brief letter,just I was working through some issues and that family stuff was not helping.And that I would contact them when and if I was ready,and for them not to contact me.It was pretty much word for word what Steff said in his letter to his mother, in one of the early podcasts.So here is the response.....It was hand written by my mother.And when she writes me it is in very chicken scratch writting I have told her previous that I have a hard time reading them and sometimes just give up.But this letter was written very neatly.

                                                                                                                                                                  May 27,2008

Dear Micah,

                   We received your LETTER requesting a break from the family so you could work through some painful issues. We are willing to take off the masks & talk openly & honestly with you- to walk through this difficult time with you if you would let us. But until you are ready we will respect your desire to be Left Alone- hard as that will be.

                  We apologize for anything we have done in the past or present that has hurt you. Should this be the case- we hope you will be able to find it within yourself to forgive us.

                  We LOVE you so much; we hurt with you & for you. We look forward to a restored relationship with you.

                                                                                                                                           Love,

                                                                                                                                Mom & Dad

If you think you are dealing with post traumatic stress-please seek professional help.

When I read this I started laughing.It was very similar to the letter Christina recevied from her father when they were going to Greece.

They apologize for ANYTHING they may have done......this is sad.

I went into the Marine Corps when I turned 19.And have been gone since,I am now 30.In the last 18 months I found out that my older sister,went to therpy to deal with issues she had with my parents.But of course when I try to ask anyone about this everyone changes the conversation..and acts like everything is ok.

It has been nearly a month since I have Defooed and I feel free! I still think about it but not as much.I am not as depressed as much eather.....I have thought before and after the letter what it would take to even try to have a relationship with them again and they are for My parents to give up there religion/faith, and to go to a non-christian therapist alone and together.But I cannot see this ever happining.Hope this letter might help someone.

Thanks for postng this; my heart goes out to you for the courage you're showing here.

Are you in contact with your sister, or have you chosen to separate from her as well? Just curious,

Dave

ps Join us in chat sometime

 I am the middle child.I have never had much of a relationship with eather of my sisters.I am not talking with the older one.I am willing to talk with my younger sister.Last thanksgiving was the last time saw them,and I tried to talk to the younger sister,and she just shut the conversation down.every time.I sent bot sisters the podcast with the man in the wheelchair.And got a angry response from my older sister,and a short response from my younger sister of did I think we were abused?  That mom and dad really loved us. But overall I never have talked much with them.

Thanks for posting, this is some real useful stuff. My older sister has hadlots of issues with the family and saw a therapist for a while, as have I, and I was visualizing bringing this up with my FOO as I read your post, and of course I can see just how badly that would go... I mean I haven't tried it, though I probably should.

I am sorry to hear about this of course bro - - I swear, if all I ever met were defensive people, I would truly believe in determinism, since they are all so grindingly predictable...

Grinding - Stef always picks the most acutely apt adjectives (AAA's) to describe things. 

 Thanks Stefan,Your podcasts have helped me more than you will ever know,My wife thanks you,as I am sure my 2 y/o daughter will in the future.Keep up the good work,you are helping to change mankind.

my friend. Thank you for sharing that letter.

 Here is a email my mom sent my wife...

HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL.  WE MISS ASPYN’S MONTHLY PICTURES. I HAD A DREAM A COUPLE WEEKS AGO – DON’T REMEMBER THE SETTING NOW, BUT A YOUNG GIRL WAS THERE, WHO I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE & THEN I LEARNED IT WAS ASPYN! I WOKE UP JUST SICK INSIDE. IN THE DREAM IT HAD BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAD SEEN HER THAT WE DIDN’T KNOW EACH OTHER.I PRAY THIS WON’T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. DAD & I JUST ACHE INSIDE OVER OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OF YOU .YOU ARE CONTINUALLY IN OUR THOUGHTS & PRAYERS. WE ARE DOING A LOT OF INTROSPECTIVE PRAYING & GROWING ON THIS END.  WITH MUCH LOVE & LONGING FOR A RESTORED RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.   MOM & DAD

 FYI Aspyn is my 2y/o daughter.

overmyhead:

 Here is a email my mom sent my wife...

HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL.  WE MISS ASPYN’S MONTHLY PICTURES. I HAD A DREAM A COUPLE WEEKS AGO – DON’T REMEMBER THE SETTING NOW, BUT A YOUNG GIRL WAS THERE, WHO I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE & THEN I LEARNED IT WAS ASPYN! I WOKE UP JUST SICK INSIDE. IN THE DREAM IT HAD BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAD SEEN HER THAT WE DIDN’T KNOW EACH OTHER.I PRAY THIS WON’T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE. DAD & I JUST ACHE INSIDE OVER OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OF YOU .YOU ARE CONTINUALLY IN OUR THOUGHTS & PRAYERS. WE ARE DOING A LOT OF INTROSPECTIVE PRAYING & GROWING ON THIS END.  WITH MUCH LOVE & LONGING FOR A RESTORED RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.   MOM & DAD

 FYI Aspyn is my 2y/o daughter.

A lot could be said about that particular dream interpretation, however, I'd like to suggest (and of course this is just my opinion) that the child in the dream was not Aspyn, but rather your mother's true self as a child before she was abused.  That's why she didn't know who the child was.

Dave