Freedomain Radio

I apologize in advance if there has been a previous message on this podcast and the issue has been clarified further.Personally, this theme has been my only disappointment with this otherwise excellent and fabulous podcast of FDR.

Particularly in FDR090, Stef puts forth the idea that a toddlers' rebellion (the terrible 2's) is basically a response to some form of oppression or parental abuse suffered by the child before he/she can gain conscience of self or memory. This is explained in much more detail in the podcast, of course, and this line for sure does not do it justice but it serves only to state the reason of my disagreement.

Now, I realize this response to parental abuse in early childhood may very well be the case in the lives of many children, men and women out there, but I don`t think it really addresses the point of the character of the child. I`ll admit the biochemistry of the brain is not my forte, or any biochemistry for that matter, but I understand an individual can perfectly have valid choices even at the age of 1, when choosing a colourful toy to play with or rather a remote control to chew on. Some say this has to do with the character of the child, which is something that he/she picks up by his/her own SELECTIVE LEARNING.

Why and how do they choose? Is it entirely out of the control their parents exert on them? Is this an argument in favor of some form of social/family determinism?

As a parent, I think kids can make their own valid decisions: like choosing their own clothes (even as early as they start walking) and sometimes those decisions may bring them pain and one would try to spare them. Also, some kids have more personality than others: take the example of twins and how different they can be in the face of almost identical parents. This, of course, just to isolate the fact that a parent of kids of different ages is not really the same parent throughout the different stages of life of each child.

My point is, really, that some children (like my son for instance, who has been loved so dearly by 2 rational, consistent, atheist and anarchist parents) will behave very violently against restrictions on their freedom to choose what they want to do, as opposed to others that will accept it without question, not because mom and dad know better and they are consistent, but because they have a different character.

This is also my main criticism of Ayn Rand: on parenting.

Any thoughts?

Thank you.

I gues this is not a very interesting subject in this forum?

I would have thought that 'parenting' from the point of view of the parent would be just as interesting as 'parenting' from the point of view of the children.

...and so I stand alone... sadly.

Sorry, I missed this when it was first posted -- certainly, children's personalities very widely, and not all rebellion against restrictions arises from early abuse, I was talking more about significant and continuous temper tantrums, footstomping, throwing things and "I hate you!" etc.

Isabella's willpower appears to be very strong, almost fierce at times, but she does submit to "correction" - for want of a better word, given her age - if it is gently and consistently applied.

If she does end up having tantrums and verbal eruptions when she's older, I will obviously have to revise my theory, but I stand by it so far...

Thank you for your reply Stef. Maybe you can say more about those "corrections" in another post or podcast. if you have done so already, let me know.