This is a very revealing topic. If this is the way it goes, then it could explain a lot about politics and the subjugation of people to implicit or tacit violence.
I recently got rid of my fear of the dark. THe way I've done it is by remembering a beating everytime I find myself in the dark alone. At first I used to feel sorry for myself at that age, and now I just switch the fear to my parents and it gets me sleeping like a baby. When I reveal the truth, my fears become rational and manageable.
I also remember the self-destructive behavior this threat causes. My sister and I were born away from my father in a howse where my mother had many sisters who treated us well. But when we moved in with my father, and my mother was alone in the house to do away with us as she felt, we began to be beaten regularily. My sister became agresive towards my parents and I became agresive towards other kids.
My parents had to work hard on my sister to get her to stand down. She was three or four years old at the time. I remember that then she turned towards herself. She would drop down to the ground and scratch her face and neck, protesting the control my father wanted to impose on her. She cried to my mother for help, but then collapsed and attacked herself when my mother took sides with my father. I remember this as horrifying because it made me very afraid as well. From then on I began to separate from my mother.
My father and mother also treated my sister as if she was crazy and took her to a doctor back then. She found ways to fight back, doing things like painting the walls with crayolla or damaging stuff around the house to get back at them. She was later tamed and became an allied to them, even against me.
I also remember that I once threatened my parents with suicide. The way I handled my situation was by detaching from them. I sort of parented myself and never talked to them exept the esential. But they threatened once to separate me from some friends I had and I said I would take my life if they did. This got me a pass for a couple of years of no beatings. I remember I was confused. I now think it was because I saw as a contradiction when they would be willing to kill me if I did not follow them, but they would back down if I was willing to kill myself.
My mother defenitively would kill me if I ever tried to defend myself. She once gave me a beating whith the blades of two knives. That time she even took a couple of stabbing swings at me and I was able to doge. She was certainly making a point there.
I won't let go of past me, but rather invite him to chill at my birthday.