Freedomain Radio

Can anyone point me toward any specific podcasts that deal with self-attack/abuse?

Thanks in advance for any leads!   

laura.soltesz:

Can anyone point me toward any specific podcasts that deal with self-attack/abuse?

Thanks in advance for any leads!   

What exactly do you mean by "self-attack/abuse"? 

Are you referring to disassociative states where such behaviors as cutting or burning take place?

 

Dave 

My self-attack/abuse has taken many forms: severe drug & alcohol abuse, physical forms from time to time (slapping, biting, scratching myself), ignoring body pains (fractured ankle, minor infections, etc.), occasionally denying myself food, & mental attacks ("you horrible person, you", etc.).

I managed to pry myself away from the drugs (mostly cocaine & MDMA/ecstasy) around 2003 & the alcohol Oct. 13, 2005 - yippee!    Though I still envision swilling martinis whenever I'm stressed.  The physical stuff is also now just a thought - now I mentally abuse when I want to physically abuse: "you idiot, why would you want to do that!?!", etc.  I am becoming more aware of body pains & have begun to treat those (instead of ignore/savoring them) when they arise.

However, the other above-listed inflictions still find themselves into my world...  The denial of food (usually dinner after a stressful day) is only occasional, but takes on a whole new level of ick when my hypoglycemia (think opposite of diabetic) kicks in.

The mental attacks are my biggest concern.  I constantly mentally kick my butt.  I am cruel to myself.  It's quite ugly in my head... 

Stef has said that he will do a podcast on self-attack/abuse, as none exist yet.  Thank you, Stef! 

I plan to discuss all this with my therapist on Friday, as well.  She knows of my mental abuse, but only as a superficial concern I think...

If anyone knows of any other places I could find information on understanding/dealing with this, please let me know.  I would greatly appreciate it!

Trying to be nice to myself, 

The first thing you need to do is write down all the ways in which people abused you when you were a kid.

Stefan Molyneux:

The first thing you need to do is write down all the ways in which people abused you when you were a kid.

That will be difficult since I don't think I'll recognize many occurrences as abuse, but I will start on the list right away. 

Should I then post it, or just quietly reflect on it?

Thank you, Stef.   

Keep it for yourself for now...

It will probably take a few tries, you might want to do it on a spreadsheet so you can organize it by abuser...

I have done that to myself quite often in the past.  The last time I was like that to myself was when I was in a relationship with Rachel, each time I've done that I was (usually) in a bad relationship with someone.

Nathan:

I have done that to myself quite often in the past.  The last time I was like that to myself was when I was in a relationship with Rachel, each time I've done that I was (usually) in a bad relationship with someone.

To clarify, which 'that' are you referring to?

Thanks for sharing.   

I read a article about a boy whose parents fell into a rage often. He and his dog became very apt in feeling a rage coming up. The boy sometimes hurt himself to distract attention and to make the wave blow over. Could the self attack be a distraction ? Just an idea, see if it rings a bell (=disclaimer:I know nothing).

 

Congrats on breaking the cocaine/X use-- that stuff is tough.  I could definitely see the path you could amble down, and some of my best friends (formerly) were heavy X/meth users. Do you have any tips?  A guy I used to know just got out of rehab, and he seems to have become a new person entirely, but I'm sure he could use help.  He did the AA thing I think.

I'd like to hear about the self-attack issue too, thanks for bringing it up.  Hopefully your therapist will help-- it's hard to express the gravity of a situation to them (or easy to disguise, I guess)

I really hope you can figure that stuff out.  I am so glad you are here and you have decided to get help.  You can do it.  I was actually thinking about how amazing it is to have some women on the boards with such insight.  You deserve to be treated very well by everyone (including yourself).

pcrs:

I read a article about a boy whose parents fell into a rage often. He and his dog became very apt in feeling a rage coming up. The boy sometimes hurt himself to distract attention and to make the wave blow over. Could the self attack be a distraction ? Just an idea, see if it rings a bell (=disclaimer:I know nothing).

Sounds like an interesting article; thank you for sharing it.  I'm not sure that it applies to me, but I'm blind to my own dysfunctions...  it could be right on.  I'll mention it to my therapist as a possibility.

I tried to discuss the self-attack/abuse with her last Friday & she somehow kept bringing it back around to how upset/angry I am with my Dad, as if that's the only reason for it.  I don't think I communicated with her very well.  I'm gonna try again this Friday after I've had more time to think it through. 

eliiswyatt:

Congrats on breaking the cocaine/X use-- that stuff is tough.  I could definitely see the path you could amble down, and some of my best friends (formerly) were heavy X/meth users. Do you have any tips?  A guy I used to know just got out of rehab, and he seems to have become a new person entirely, but I'm sure he could use help.  He did the AA thing I think.

Yeah, drug use can be tricky to shake... esp. when you have the resources (money & availability) right in front of you.  I literally saw several 'friends' die & watched many more simply lose their grip on life.  Very sad stuff. 

Tips I'd pass along would be for the person to get as far away from their old life as possible.  I moved from Louisville to the town my parents live in TN & started a whole new career in real estate.  The thing to remember at all times with reforming any habit is that you are essentially re-wiring your brain. 

A drug addict's response to stress is to do drugs.  Since you can't avoid all stress, you must constantly be aware of your tendencies & keep an iron will.  Luckily (in this regard) I'm very stubborn, so I used that the help me.  Example of my stubbornness: I quit cigarettes after 8yrs. of pretty heavy (1-2packs/day) smoking due to a challenge from 'friends'. 

I continued to drink lots of alcohol during the time I gave up to X & coke, so it wasn't cold turkey.  I did it on my own, no support at all.  In fact, I was in an abusive relationship at the time... very difficult.

I gave up the alcohol most recently, as mentioned earlier - it is a constant battle still, even after 2+yrs.  But I continue to remind myself of my reasoning & continue to practice my new habits instead.
 

david kopp:

I really hope you can figure that stuff out.  I am so glad you are here and you have decided to get help.  You can do it.  I was actually thinking about how amazing it is to have some women on the boards with such insight.  You deserve to be treated very well by everyone (including yourself).

Thanks, David!    

I don't know how much useful insight I have, but I will help where/whenever I can.

It is nice to see the growing number of ladies on the boards!  Is Stef doing anything specific to target the ladies, or are they just naturally drawn in by his accent & self-confidence?