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Latest post 07-23-2008 10:46 AM by buffygeek. 4 replies.
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  • 07-21-2008 9:18 PM

    • buffygeek
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-17-2008
    • Southern California
    • Posts 102
    • Philosopher King

    Any advice to a recent defooer?

    I just put the letters in the mail today and I think they will get them as early as tomorrow.  I am feeling nervous.  If anyone has any advice to offer, it would be appreciated.  I'm afraid I might have a difficult time not reading or listening to their messages, if they leave any.  I'm also worried that I might fall prey to the guilt trips if I read or listen to them.  I really just have no idea what to expect.

     

  • 07-21-2008 11:03 PM In reply to

    Re: Any advice to a recent defooer?

    I am so sorry for what you are experiencing of course, it is a wrenching and difficult step...Left Hug

    Most people who have gone through this step find that nothing happens for a while, at least a few months. You may get a letter acknowleging yours - that's what most people experience.

    Guilt is of course a terrible reason to be in a 'relationship' with someone - if the feeling overwhelms you, you need to talk it out with people you trust. And therapy is essential in this process, as I mentioned on the Sunday show.

    Do let me know if there is anything I can do - and please accept my sympathies, best wishes and admiration of course.


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  • 07-21-2008 11:22 PM In reply to

    • buffygeek
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-17-2008
    • Southern California
    • Posts 102
    • Philosopher King

    Re: Any advice to a recent defooer?

    Thank you very much.  I actually made an appointment to meet with a therapist tomorrow evening and I'm sure it will be helpful.  Thanks, again.

     

  • 07-22-2008 9:49 PM In reply to

    Re: Any advice to a recent defooer?

    How courageousLeft Hug

    You know, you don't have to do anything with their letters, if there will be any.

    Now, it is your time. Give yourself a break. Put them away for later if you like. Read them in some month, years or decades...

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  • 07-23-2008 10:46 AM In reply to

    • buffygeek
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-17-2008
    • Southern California
    • Posts 102
    • Philosopher King

    Re: Any advice to a recent defooer?

    You are absolutely right.  I will give myself a break :).  Thanks for the support.

     

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