Freedomain Radio

GregG:

Does anyone else find it fascinating and curious, how popular this thread is?

Yes! I also find it very fascinating how far the desired careers overlap. And how the ages at which they were desired overlap. Have you been noticing that too?

This is sort of why I posted the thread. As anthropological study, as well as from sheer curiosity. Am so happy it's turned out!

GregG:

Does anyone else find it fascinating and curious, how popular this thread is?

I found it fascinating that I seem to the be only one, or one of the few, that doesn't have a positive response to it and I don't have a top-ten list like everone else. I don't think anybody paid attention to that.... not that they have to or anything.

Joey:

found it fascinating that I seem to the be only one, or one of the few, that doesn't have a positive response to it and I don't have a top-ten list like everone else. I don't think anybody paid attention to that.... not that they have to or anything.

Same here. Does it say something about us?

Victor:

Joey:

found it fascinating that I seem to the be only one, or one of the few, that doesn't have a positive response to it and I don't have a top-ten list like everone else. I don't think anybody paid attention to that.... not that they have to or anything.

 

Same here. Does it say something about us?

I think so. What experiences and feelings did this thread bring up for you?

For me, it just brought up painful school memories. I remember a time when some hot shot business guy came to our 6th grade class. He  asked everyone in the room what they wanted to be when they grew up. As he went around the room every kid had some imaginitive response. As he got to me last I tried to think of something, and thought about making up an answer, but figured I'd just be honest. I just told him "I honestly don't know..." and the guy just stared at me while the other kids quietly snickered behind my back. This guy then asks me what I'm good at and what are my hobbies. I didn't have any at the time. Quite frankly, the only interests I had at the time was trying to keep people at school and home from hurting me.

Those kids walked away from "career day" flaunting in my face how they are going to be this and they are going to be that, while I felt like a no body because I had no answer. I felt so damn crushed. I then sat on the playground where a memory from first grade came to mind. I was the only disabled person in this class full of able-bodied kids. I was being scolded by a teacher because I honestly had a hard time understanding her directions on various tasks like cutting up paper snow flakes, coloring things properly, and so fourth. After the tongue lashing I just sat there and watched the other kids as they seemed to surpass me at everything. I thought to myself: "man, why did they get lucky and not me? I just want to be somebody."

Since then the only person who actually took some interest in what I wanted to do was this counselor at a junior college. He was curious as to why I just took classes all over the place and wasn't focusing on a major as I started to head towards graduating and onto university. I just said "I don't know, can you help me?" He smiled and handed me a shit load of career aptitude tests, which I took home and spent 8 hours straight filling every one of these out, being as honest as I possibly could. I took it back to him and after a week or so he called me in his office and we had a look at the results. I was disapointed that the only suggestions he could come up with were 1) being a newspaper editor 2) meteorologist 3) culinary, and some other stuff I didn't actually find that interesting.

He saw that none of these rang a bell for me, so he asked something akin to: "What is it you really want to do if you could do anything in terms of a career? What is your passion?" I responded: "I want to help people, and I want to make a huge difference in the world." He then give me this kinda condescending laugh that said: You young idealists with your fancy hopes and dreams. Then came the response: "Joey, look, everybody wants to help somebody else. And uh, every job out there is meant to help somebody do something. So perhaps you should just find out where specifically you want to help people and pick a job that will do that."

I walked out of his office not satisfied at all. I sat down in the student union listening to some kids talk about their future careers over a game of billards. As I sat there and listened, a MEcosystem voice popped in my head and said: Why so sad? Were you expecting somebody to just hand you something you can do with your life? Ha! That ain't gonna happen. Who gives a fuck what these kids got going for them? We're gonna have to pick up a shovel and some paving stones so we can pave our own way in life. Will we succeed or fail? I don't know, but I'd rather die digging ditches to somewhere rather than people running our ass over as we go nowhere.

I then found it strange why I could only suggest helping people as my passion. When I was a kid I would always help around the house. I'd love to help my parents and grandparents. Heck, I'd help so much around the yard that I'd push myself over my physical limits and would have blisters all over my feet and legs because I was so bent on helping. Part of the reason I pushed myself there was that I thought if I helped out more, my parents would back off on the mean treatment. That of course didn't work, but I still had that desire to be helpful, to be a positive influence. During my nihilistic/despressed phase in my teens I would sit in my room most of the time and listen to rock music. My parents wouldn't say it, but I could tell they thought of me as a lazy bum. I just couldn't bring myself to do anything or find any hobby.

As I read this thread the feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness crept over me again. It's not the fault of anybody else on this thread but for a brief moment I felt everyone else was just another classmate passing me by as I climb an icy mountain that keeps throwing me down. So Victor, I have no idea right now what it says about us. I just feel deep sadness.

Thanks for the response :-)

James A Pyrich:

Yeah, I noticed that and thought it curious as well.  Do you have any thoughts as to why it's so popular?

I suspect it has something to do with a desire to reconnect with the will to aspire. But then, that could just be my own projection. 

Perhaps it's an opportunity to express a preference in a "safe" way - since we're all growed up now, there are no more emotional implications (euphamism for ridicule) to admitting we once wanted to be astronauts.

Or, it could just be nostalgia...

Age 7-11: Marine Biologist (I loved sharks)

Age 12:Stand Up Comedian

Age 13: Chef

Age 14: Barristor

Age 15- now (18): Session Musician (but also thinking a career in psychology)

GregG:

James A Pyrich:

Yeah, I noticed that and thought it curious as well.  Do you have any thoughts as to why it's so popular?

I suspect it has something to do with a desire to reconnect with the will to aspire. But then, that could just be my own projection. 

Perhaps it's an opportunity to express a preference in a "safe" way - since we're all growed up now, there are no more emotional implications (euphamism for ridicule) to admitting we once wanted to be astronauts.

Or, it could just be nostalgia...

 

It could be some combination of the three...

I think that when I was writing my original reply (and then when I updated it, and then replied two more times to catch that which I had forgotten), I felt a kind of urgency to root out those things I wanted to be and to see what, if any, themes there were.

It would appear that I've wanted to help people who were in pain.  However, I can remember that despite my conscious thoughts surrounding becoming a politician were to help people, within that desire was an urge to control people to do my bidding.  I think that, more than "compromising my values," was what drove me away.

Also, I was in quite a lot of pain for many years (having unsuccessfully sought help only a handful of times), so you could even see my desires to get into a "helping" profession as urges to subsume my own pain within the pain of others.

And now that I think about it... when I first read this thread, I thought, "I've never really wanted to be anything."  But I didn't say that.  Even as I look over the list--especially the latter portion--I remember feeling that these were positions of desperation, not positions of desire.  In the example of wanting to be a pastor, the desire was to use that to entrench my faith, not to actually help people.

So... looking at this list again, and if I try to be more honest... I feel sad.  I feel sad, and the accompanying thought is, did I ever actually have any true desires of my own?  Was I ever fundamentally excited about anything, ever?

I know that I must have had true desires, for I long for them.  I know I must have been excited at some time, for I long to be excited.

It seems that my list is so much fluff when faced to the sadness I'm actually feeling.

Thanks for posting your question, Greg.

I wanted to be Away from my abusers--alone, if necessary.

I don't remember wanting anything else when I was a young child.

I also don't remember anybody asking that question of me; or, if they had, I don't think my answer was convincing enough to stick in my head.

James A Pyrich:

I also don't remember anybody asking that question of me;

I think you may be on to something there.

It could be the thread is popular because people actually believe they are being listened to, in a genuine sense.

I.e., this is the first time someone's asked them the question, and seriously CARED about the answer.

7 to 18: Punk rocker and tax attorney

18 to 26: Economist

26 to present : Batman - except without all the violence and helping the state

Joey:

As I read this thread the feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness crept over me again. It's not the fault of anybody else on this thread but for a brief moment I felt everyone else was just another classmate passing me by as I climb an icy mountain that keeps throwing me down. So Victor, I have no idea right now what it says about us. I just feel deep sadness.

Joey.

I'm sorry for your experience. It angers me and makes me want to help you. Maybe get you involved in something that can make you forget what happened to you. Just know that it didn't happen to you. It happened to all those other kids who adapted to fit in their messed up world while you knew that it needed fixing. I'm sorry that treasures like you are unseen everyday. You could have had so much impact on the world, say, if there was an internet and an FDR that you could have gone over and learned this stuf. You could have had your own friends back there who would have been interested in finding out what it is that you want to do.

You wanted to do the most important thing in the world. You knew this is all crap and it needs some fixing right away. I would say that you were a giant amongst these kids and that man. You had a bad time because you were sensitive to the broblems of the age. The sadness is so huge because it's a sadness for an entire generation. You guys could have had so much fun if you had not been so bullied out of yourselves.

Life goes on and careers are still there. You can pick one at any time and do your best in it. But you don't because you have bigger priorities, like the world. I'd say you are a career superhero. 

GregG:

James A Pyrich:

I also don't remember anybody asking that question of me;

I think you may be on to something there.

It could be the thread is popular because people actually believe they are being listened to, in a genuine sense.

I.e., this is the first time someone's asked them the question, and seriously CARED about the answer.

I think it's nice that someone might care about the answer. At least the person who asked the question has some reason to care abuot the answer.

I wonder if the huge response might be a reflection of our own narcisism? I mean, in my case I'm sure there's something worthy of exploration along those lines, but I don't necessarily use that word in a bad way, either. Self-love isn't necessarily a bad thing, although I understand the negative connotations or images a word like "narcisist" might conjure up.

Victor:

Joey:

As I read this thread the feelings of anger, resentment, and sadness crept over me again. It's not the fault of anybody else on this thread but for a brief moment I felt everyone else was just another classmate passing me by as I climb an icy mountain that keeps throwing me down. So Victor, I have no idea right now what it says about us. I just feel deep sadness.

 

Joey.

I'm sorry for your experience. It angers me and makes me want to help you. Maybe get you involved in something that can make you forget what happened to you. Just know that it didn't happen to you. It happened to all those other kids who adapted to fit in their messed up world while you knew that it needed fixing. I'm sorry that treasures like you are unseen everyday. You could have had so much impact on the world, say, if there was an internet and an FDR that you could have gone over and learned this stuf. You could have had your own friends back there who would have been interested in finding out what it is that you want to do.

You wanted to do the most important thing in the world. You knew this is all crap and it needs some fixing right away. I would say that you were a giant amongst these kids and that man. You had a bad time because you were sensitive to the broblems of the age. The sadness is so huge because it's a sadness for an entire generation. You guys could have had so much fun if you had not been so bullied out of yourselves.

Life goes on and careers are still there. You can pick one at any time and do your best in it. But you don't because you have bigger priorities, like the world. I'd say you are a career superhero. 

Thanks Victor, your kind words brought a smile to my face :-D

But just a correction: I don't want to forget my bad past; I want to leave this world in a better condition than my past so that future generations won't have to go through the pain we did. It's communities like this that give me the strength to try.

Wow, Joey.

I totally had tears in my eyes reading your post.  Your writing is always so honest & deep - so vulnerable.  I greatly appreciate your contribution to this community. 

Like Colleen, I wanted to be a princess, but like a butterfly-fairy-princess, & actually I'm still hoping this comes through... 

I then wanted to be a veterinarian, from around age 7-14 or so.  I was keen to specialize as an avian vet & work w/ parrots - I intended to get the truth about proper care & nuitrition out there.  (After my father sold my African Grey, whom I'd hand-fed since before he had feathers in, I gravitated away from this career path.)

I then planned to be the life of the party & was till I was 22ish.

I decided to try real estate - loved that.  Thought I'd found my life-long career, till we moved to New Jersey...  I don't like the biz here, so I went back to school to study psychology.

I now work as a nanny (which I adore!) while I study developmental/social psych. & plan to earn my PhD & maybe go on to med. school to become a psychiatrist.  I will work with children & families. 

I have a whole business plan in mind.  It's gonna be fantastic!