Freedomain Radio

Dtomboy:

I simply think that answering someone's direct question or request for advice is the best way to start.

Ah, my overly anal self went back to check, as it seems the idea you have put forward has been that what was being sought was advice on the transition into a social life away from home. Though that was not how I remembered the thread, I found it irrelevant, for the reason I spoke of above. But if answering a person's direct questions and requests for advice is the best way to start....

Here is the first post. (all questions in bold)

Tyler:

Hi, I'm new to the forum here. I've listened to some earlier podcasts, and some newer ones. Probably this is something a lot of people post about, and probably it's the kind of thing that Stef has talked about at length before in podcasts. And I'm enjoying them, but I don't know if I'll ever have time to get through all of them, so forgive me if I'm a bit of a clueless n00b here:

I'm heading off to college (Syracuse) at the end of the summer. I've been home-schooled for most of my life, though, so I'm pretty nervous about going. I've never had many friends, even for a home-schooled kid, and I'm pretty sure that making friends, even in college, is going to be hard for me. I just don't know what it's going to be like once I'm away from home. I'm pretty attached to my family, especially my little brothers and sisters, and I think my life's going to be less complete once they drop me off and I'm on my own.

Ok, so obviously I'm a pretty sheltered (read: "nerdy") kid. But I really do love my family. They're my best friends! The stuff I've read on these boards (so far anyway) and definitely what Stefan has said in his podcasts, makes a lot of sense to me. But on the other hand I'm kind of conflicted. I don't want to cut my family out of my life, clearly. That's like the worst thing that I could ever do. I would be almost totally alone. And I know that Stef doesn't think EVERYONE should break their ties with their families, but it kind of seems like he thinks that the ones who shouldn't are a rarity. I read the beginning of "On Truth" earlier today (I'll finish tonight, I promise), and it doesn't really talk about "some" families. It just talks about families in general. And I know he's said that good families can be the greatest thing in the world, but how do your really know if you have a good family? I mean, everybody thinks that, don't they?

I listened to a recent podcast, and Stef makes a really good point about our relationships being like bridges. And like, I REALLY think that my bridge is a strong one. Honestly. My parents are supportive, and they're not judgmental about what I do or think. But what if I'm wrong?I mean, I used to REALLY believe that Jesus loved me and that my family would all live together, for eternity, in the Celestial Kingdom. But now, about a thousand YouTube videos and a couple of books later, I'm pretty sure that's just wishful thinking.

So how do you really know?I don't really like Stef's advice of "testing" it as a theory. I mean, these aren't lab rats, they're my family. It seems pretty unkind to test their love like its a hypothesis. Especially when I love them so much, and genuinely believe that they love me just as much.

I'm sorry about how long this post is. I don't know if I even have a specific question, really. I'm just kind of at a place right now where I'm already worried about what's going to happen in a few months, when I'm away from my fam for most of a semester. I feel sort of challenged by "On Truth" to prove (to myself, mostly) that my family really isn't as bad as what I'm reading, but I guess I don't know what to do about that.

Tyler:

My original question was basically about how one can genuinely know if they have a good relationship with their family

Actually Blackacidlizzard I don't think you are missing anything.  I think you are right.  Plus, he said this too!

 I'm sorry about how long this post is. I don't know if I even have a specific question, really.

So he pretty well opened it up for each of us to interpret for ourselves as to how we should respond to him.  Which means I shall now apologize to Stef because I don't think I can make a good case for saying he shouldn't have responded as he did. 

I was obviously stating my personal preferences and my interpretation of the post and what I thought might be most helpful to him.  Which I personally still believe.  But I let my personal experiences color how I viewed the post and also how I decided what was the "correct" and "right" way to respond.  Which is obviously only my opinion.  And I think Stef just did the same thing I did.  Duh.

Also, I figured this out some time ago in this thread, but I was waiting for someone to ask me the right question before I moved forward on that point. KIDDING!!!!! 

Anyway, seriously, I apologize, Stef.